I wonder what an Australian tounge feels like

He is way cute. I'm talking to him about the most random stuff, and he acts as if I'm saying something of great importance. He treats me well, and hasn't once done anything incredibly stupid. I really hope to go see him sometime, so that I might just once get to hug him, get to kiss him, get to hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him. I'm not sure why he's such a nice person to me, but whatever the reason is, it works. I really wish I could see him, but of course I would probably screw that up... I can't screw up in school, or else getting to AU will be impossible. He is fucking delicious... I want him to hurry up and get close to me so I can run my hands through his hair, plant a kiss on his lips, soft and sweet, and breath in the spicy scent of his cologne. I want to take him places, like shopping and stuff, and I want him to wrap me in his embrace. I want him to poke me in the side playfully, and I want to giggle like the little girl I so badly want to be. I yearn for his innocence, for his delicious smile, for his voice to reach my ears undistorted by the webcam, for he and I to not be separated by 8,000 miles of ocean and continent. It's very much like a love story that sucks, and I just hope that I don't end up killing myself at the end.

So... he calls me psycho. I don't know whether to be offended or happy. He's serious today, and I asked him what was wrong. He was suprised that I could tell how he felt. I'm starting to think that he is much less mature than myself... and it kills me. I really and truly love this one, and I'm afraid I've been brozoned. I want to cry, I want to scream, to just make him se how much I care about him, but he will never see. I don't have the ability to show it to him. I don't think I ever will.

*Yawn*

It's 4am in his time, and he's barely getting to sleep. I've kept him awake for quite a while... and I like doing so. I want to ash him for some... attention, but I realize that it could jeapordize what we have. AAAAANNNNDD... Elmo is in my class. Small world, huh? I love when life plays out like a book. It makes writing so much easier. He's gotten weirder... or maybe I have. It's hard to tell with a 5 minute conversation. My teacher reminds me of fluttershy... I watch WAY too much MLP. Ehh.So, I'm not tired, just... Meh. it's kind of a strange feeling, this 'meh.' I like to think of it as a daily dose of apathy. Yay for the college experience. Blegh. Not to mention Mr. Bush… Blegh all over again. I'm dead tired. Signing off for the day.

I'm Truly in Love.

We can talk for hours on end abut absolutely nothing. He makes me smile, he knows what I need, and what I've gone through, and he accepts me for who I am. I can't really say the same about any other person I've ever met. It makes me feel... happy. I can't believe that I'm in school and the only thing I can think about is him, the only thing I want to do is get good grades o that I can be wth him. It makes me want to scream in fright, in joy, in passion. He used the word mairrage when I asked him what love meant to him. I want to live with him and be his wife. I don't know when we will get together, or what we will end up doing as a couple, or even where we would be. All I know is that this time my feelings are to be trusted. This IS just a crush, but he is a genuinely good person, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Sometimes the words can't come out of my mouth right, like I'm jammed, like my gears won't turn right, but he sees through it all and makes me into this fantastical person. I weigh 25 kilograms more than he does, but I am amazed that he will accept me at this, my heaviest weight, and can still call me beautiful. I love him with an intensity like no other, as we cannot have a physical relationship, but the Micah thing will NOT happen again. I refuse to let it get that bad. I will do everything in my power to make sure that it doesn't happen. I want this to work.

The Servant's Pledge

I want you to want me. I wish to fuel your excitement, to end your boredom. I possess the burning desire to make you happy in any way possible, in every way imagineble. I implore you to ask anything of me, and I will show you what I can do when you ask the right questions. I want to be used, Master, like the object I am, to be taken advantage of like the slave I am, to be controlled like the toy I choose to be.

You're what I need, someone to serve, a purpose for my meager life. I want to satisfy you, to gratify you. I want to be yours, Master. Take me under your control, make me an instrument of your will. Your every desire becomes my command, your wishes become my orders. I derive satisfaction in knowing that you are pleased by my performance. Silence me, degrade me, do anything you wish but never abandon me, for I am yours forever. I swear on my life that I will remain faithful to you throughout the course of my existence.

What Does Your Heart Say?

Love doesn't run love doesn't hide or turn away from a fight, as long as you're there. If you know what love is, then keep it close, keep it close to you, and never let it go unless it doesn't feel right. You could wish for the good or the bad, but either way its a wish that could happen by coincidence, or happen on a lucky day.




Some people wish the for the worst to happen to people, and some people wish the best to happen for people. This little girl growing up was full of sunshine, full of smiles, and as she grew up and became a beautiful mess. She looked back at her life and wondered, what happened. Every year her birthday came around, she wouldn't see her birthday as a birthday, but more like any other day.



You can tell people anything that you would consider the truth and at the same time not call it the truth. If you could fight for anything in the world would you go for it, or let it fly right out of your life. Would you take it seriously or take it lightly? Would you break it, if it didn't feel right, Or keep it a secret and ignore to see if it was really worth it? Your heart can tell you anything, but will you listen to your heart or watch it break?

Tommorrow is Your Day

When I don't think about you, I still hear you're voice knowing that tomorrow is your day. Tomorrow is the day that you passed away that day, that was the week after I talked to you for the last time. Tomorrow is the day that I praise you in the storm, I praise you for doing what you did to live your life. I praise you for making the most of you're last moments. You left too early and you were too young to die, but death doesn't discriminate against age, so it takes anyone at any age in time.




So, I say sometimes I wish it was me in you're place and not you, although one day we will meet again in the after life. When I first heard the news you left, I couldn't stop crying at all, and although I had to hide my emotions. I couldn't stop crying at all, as tears ran down my cheeks turning me red, I kept thinking why? why now? Why couldn't you just wait longer, and left live a little bit more. Time has no limit, nor a set date when you will leave the world. Tomorrow is you're day not to be remembered as the day you passed, but to be remembered as the day you lived.

Darkness For Hope

At the bottom of every person's cold heart, is a small white light that is waiting to grow. Leaves fall through the seasons, as the winds pass through the air, as winter slips through the cracks of our doors, windows, and chimneys. Each day we look forward to something different, and we fall back at the same time. We forget who were are for a second, and realize we made an action against what we really believe in.




I could run from you, I could hide from you, I could disappear from you, but why should I even bother hiding anymore. I've hidden for so long, I can't even tell who I really am anymore. Every time I close my eyes, I see a brighter day whenever I talk to you. Every time I try to take off a mask, I can't seem to rip it off, and even if I just ease it off my face, it stays stuck.



If I shall fall let me fall, to the fall where I can never stand. Let me fall to the black of nothing, the black of broken lies and promises. If I fail, let me feel the slap of pain hit me a thousand times everyday, to know that there's always something, that can lift my lifeless body from the ground. I'm not broken, just chipped with A crack in the corner of my eye.



I thought I heard you say something, I thought I heard you say you wanted me around. Although I know your predictable lies, it makes no difference when you are telling the truth either. Doesn't matter what you say, doesn't matter how much you try to make me believe anything, they all just come up in lies. One thing I know is truth, I can never let you back in my life.




A crack in the eye, a scratch on the arms and a few cuts, with a bruise here or there, isn't much but memorial scars of my worse nightmare. A painful expression is filled with nothing but lonesome painful thoughts, but still she sits in the night sky surrounded by darkness as she shines. She knows she still has the hope to live the next day.