I wonder what an Australian tounge feels like

He is way cute. I'm talking to him about the most random stuff, and he acts as if I'm saying something of great importance. He treats me well, and hasn't once done anything incredibly stupid. I really hope to go see him sometime, so that I might just once get to hug him, get to kiss him, get to hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him. I'm not sure why he's such a nice person to me, but whatever the reason is, it works. I really wish I could see him, but of course I would probably screw that up... I can't screw up in school, or else getting to AU will be impossible. He is fucking delicious... I want him to hurry up and get close to me so I can run my hands through his hair, plant a kiss on his lips, soft and sweet, and breath in the spicy scent of his cologne. I want to take him places, like shopping and stuff, and I want him to wrap me in his embrace. I want him to poke me in the side playfully, and I want to giggle like the little girl I so badly want to be. I yearn for his innocence, for his delicious smile, for his voice to reach my ears undistorted by the webcam, for he and I to not be separated by 8,000 miles of ocean and continent. It's very much like a love story that sucks, and I just hope that I don't end up killing myself at the end.

So... he calls me psycho. I don't know whether to be offended or happy. He's serious today, and I asked him what was wrong. He was suprised that I could tell how he felt. I'm starting to think that he is much less mature than myself... and it kills me. I really and truly love this one, and I'm afraid I've been brozoned. I want to cry, I want to scream, to just make him se how much I care about him, but he will never see. I don't have the ability to show it to him. I don't think I ever will.

*Yawn*

It's 4am in his time, and he's barely getting to sleep. I've kept him awake for quite a while... and I like doing so. I want to ash him for some... attention, but I realize that it could jeapordize what we have. AAAAANNNNDD... Elmo is in my class. Small world, huh? I love when life plays out like a book. It makes writing so much easier. He's gotten weirder... or maybe I have. It's hard to tell with a 5 minute conversation. My teacher reminds me of fluttershy... I watch WAY too much MLP. Ehh.So, I'm not tired, just... Meh. it's kind of a strange feeling, this 'meh.' I like to think of it as a daily dose of apathy. Yay for the college experience. Blegh. Not to mention Mr. Bush… Blegh all over again. I'm dead tired. Signing off for the day.

I'm Truly in Love.

We can talk for hours on end abut absolutely nothing. He makes me smile, he knows what I need, and what I've gone through, and he accepts me for who I am. I can't really say the same about any other person I've ever met. It makes me feel... happy. I can't believe that I'm in school and the only thing I can think about is him, the only thing I want to do is get good grades o that I can be wth him. It makes me want to scream in fright, in joy, in passion. He used the word mairrage when I asked him what love meant to him. I want to live with him and be his wife. I don't know when we will get together, or what we will end up doing as a couple, or even where we would be. All I know is that this time my feelings are to be trusted. This IS just a crush, but he is a genuinely good person, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Sometimes the words can't come out of my mouth right, like I'm jammed, like my gears won't turn right, but he sees through it all and makes me into this fantastical person. I weigh 25 kilograms more than he does, but I am amazed that he will accept me at this, my heaviest weight, and can still call me beautiful. I love him with an intensity like no other, as we cannot have a physical relationship, but the Micah thing will NOT happen again. I refuse to let it get that bad. I will do everything in my power to make sure that it doesn't happen. I want this to work.

The Servant's Pledge

I want you to want me. I wish to fuel your excitement, to end your boredom. I possess the burning desire to make you happy in any way possible, in every way imagineble. I implore you to ask anything of me, and I will show you what I can do when you ask the right questions. I want to be used, Master, like the object I am, to be taken advantage of like the slave I am, to be controlled like the toy I choose to be.

You're what I need, someone to serve, a purpose for my meager life. I want to satisfy you, to gratify you. I want to be yours, Master. Take me under your control, make me an instrument of your will. Your every desire becomes my command, your wishes become my orders. I derive satisfaction in knowing that you are pleased by my performance. Silence me, degrade me, do anything you wish but never abandon me, for I am yours forever. I swear on my life that I will remain faithful to you throughout the course of my existence.