Oh. My. Gosh.

   So, school. I loved the morning class, friendly with that one guy, but english, gosh... First of all, I saw Michael on the way to english, he smiled, and I tripped. on the stairs. FUN. Then my teacher decides to deny all of my epic essay topics, (social conformity, what defines a nation, and individuality) and decides to make me write new ones. I write corn, pandas, and society. She picked Pandas. Dolt. I can't do Algebra for my life. I'm not lost, but he wants us to solve with only one (1) unknown. FAIL. I am barely able to understand it, as I am used to solving with 2. Teachers should really lear how to keep lectures EDUCATIONAL. I've learned review, and review, and review. And write about pandas. Sam is not in algebra today...(^^^) Kinda sad... but whatever,  I guess. Algebra teacher is boring. I spoke to fifth yesterday. He's an ass. He insists that second hides their secret phone calls from me. He's all "everyone but you knows." Riiiiiight. He doesn't get that he's the subject of the game. heh. Played.

  " Jankiest Review I've ever seen in my life"  QUOTE OF THE DAY.

Time for Government, with Mistahhh Chris the second. Ituah walks in like a boss and does... nothing! Ok everybody we are right here... Thank you. GAH! so bored. the Fannyfaddeers... please put awaay cell phone. Please can this guy just go back to his chair and dismiss us!?!?!?!? Boredom begets mischief. Mischief begets boredom, it's an endless cycle.

Thomas Aquainas. The Thomas Aquainas. From Catholic shcool. That's what we're GOING OVER IN HISTORY CLASS!?!?!?!? WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH FRAKING AMERICAN GOVERNMENT? I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M HERE AND I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!


But seriously. This sucks.

REALLY!?

   So,... Today was fun. I was hanging out with Second and Third, and who calls but Fifth. Ew.  Well, I busted my bottom on a scooter, and what'doyaknow!? HE SHOWS UP. FML.

   So I'm bleeding terribly from my foot and he stays at the park while me and the twins go inside, and he's still there an hour later when we return to the park. Great... and then alex, jacob, and Nathan show up..... and then I realize. Stoner parties scare me. I'm out.

   But I stay because they're cute. I LAWL at my fickleness. and I argue with fifth all night long over second's lack of intelligence. He actually thinks that she hides stuff from me. heh. My foot is throbbing. I miss when life was a little more complex. The full moon keeps me awake. I can't write anything, because I'm just... BLEGH.

Playing Guitar 'till my fingers rot

   Sometimes, I just think that you don't give a hoot. My english teacher wants us to keep journals for extra credit... HAHAHA... I guess I'll just print out some pages. "Second" and I are "friends" again, although I'm not really sure that I want to have friends. They all seem to be more trouble than they are worth. I miss "the first," last name Hadfield. I still can't believe the fact that he'll have nothing to do with me... Even after 2 years. Where's Joan Jett when you need her? "Fifth," last name Meece, was at dark park today. Lame. He waited there all day long just for a chance to talk to Second (Lauren). Maybe he loves her. Yeah, because everyone loves fifteen year olds.  It's 11:30, and I'm planning for the worst, be it a zombie apocolypse, running away from the police, or just a simple hurricane. Nineteen windows. Seventeen boards. Eight steps. Six doors. One typewriter. Zero hour. HaHa this sounds like a cheesy dime novel synopsis..
   I got the wig from Lonnie... Second absolutely loves it. They think it's the shizz. I think it got really ratty this past year...


Here's a poem for first, in hopes that one day he will see it.


It hurts to go one day without you...
Somehow, I've managed two years
                  So  cruel 
                   the truth 
                   so cold 
                   I realize
 I've developed a dependency on
you, & I'm suffering withdrawals.


         Why so? 
         The cause  
          is my pain.    
          it becomes  
          too much 
          To bear alone, I miss you.     
          "Please come back to me"
          I wanted so badly to say. 

                      And Yet 
         I see you             and I'm  
  Filled with                    the hatred 
      of all                           my lies 
          and all             my secrets 
                     I'm done.

  Why do                               I keep   
        Telling                    Myself 
            These                Lies? 
                I know          He
                     Won't love
                            Me

         So eloquently, you speak
         to me, as if this were a game
         do you
         have a
         clue as
         to what you've done to me?
         You're really that oblivious,
         aren't you?
         I can't
         Believe
         All the things you used to tell
         me, the things we used to do. 

            you must
            really not get it.
            I was          ALWAYS
            There            For you.
            When             You were
            angry,             when you 
            used to             hit me, I 
            couldn't         even think
            straight,          but you
            were happy. Things
             are better now. 





        and then                 there's the
          fact that            I never felt
               safe           around you.
                  you        made me  
                   cry   much more
                    Than Any
                     Person
                      Ever,
                     Made
                 Me feel
                  USED.

                   But Prom  
        was so             different. 
     I really                     thought
   that you                     loved me 
   The next                  day, you     
       completely     Broke my 
                    HEART...

You know,                you never  
really did                  apologize.
I'm sorry                    for every 
thing I've                    Put you 
Through,                    and I just 
figured that you really wouldn't
   read my 100 reasons if I gave
                                  them to you.

Midnight Reading and a New Friend

T-bone finally came home! We took him to WAL - MART today, and they totally respected his rights as a sentient being. He tried out several chew toys, and we found one that he likes. I' sitting in my room, attempting to read my history textbook, and I end up blogging. Great.

Bought the most epic diesel perfume... did I mention how epic it is?

I swear my life is written by Stephenie Meyer.

     So, I'm finally hanging out with the twins, and all of a sudden Lauren decides to invite Tony. To the pool. When I'm in a borrowed bikini top that might as well be a pair of pasties. I end up picking him up, and taking him home. You know what we did at the pool? Absolutely nothing. Tony talked to the lifeguard about pipes, and the twins and I waited in the 3ft section of the pool. Lauren was abducted for some "fun," and I disclosed some information to her. When I saw Tony again, I spoke to him about that same information... and now they aren't speaking. OK I'll admit it, I was a little jealous. But you have to understand the terms of our little "arrangement." It was simple. "Nobody touches him, so nobody fights over him"yeah, right. Try adding that to the stresses of college.

    Speaking of college, we had some retarded speech icebreaker today where we were to introduce the person next to us to the class. Oh, my goodness, was I lucky! I came in a little late, and barely made it in time, and my seat from Monday was taken, so I grabbed a seat next to a total hottie, and, wouldn't you know, he was my partner for the icebreaker. Long punk hair, interest in cars, same taste in music, and best yet, a bio major. YUM!

   BUT, all of this had to happen right after Ryan got out of jail. And told me he loved me. And asked me out. Oh, yeah, and Nathaniel and Danny from high school want to hang out/make out, and I just want a decent chance to make straight A's in college. Guess that's never going to happen.

   None of that compares to the High Priestess training. I've learned how to deal with many types of people, and I'm ready to apply that knowledge, but the BoS took up most of my time, and the girls all reverted to atheism/agnosticism. Except for the twins, of course. They are the only ones too fickle to actively disbelieve in anything. I'm thinking of inviting Ryan to the next meeting of the guardians. I wonder if they will let me. I'm hinging on a "yes." Well, only time will tell.